dear ladies and gentleman

sometimes the things we plan don't turn out quite like we planned.  and thats okay. becasue sometimes the things we think we want aren't actually what we need. sometimes we have to have bad days to truly appreciate a good day when it comes. sometimes we have to have trials to grow. sometimes we have to have our hearts broken to have it fixed again. sometimes we have to have faith that everything will turn out like its supposed to.
there have been times in my short little life where i've had no control. where things i thought i wanted weren't working, and it was hard for me. but what i didn't realize was that my heavenly father was preparing me. he knew that just because it was something i wanted didn't make it the best for me. he knew that there was something better. something that would make me happier.
i've had my heart broken. i've broken my own heart. i've thought that nothing would ever be okay again. and everytime, my lord and savior, Jesus Christ, has mended my broken heart, or stopped my tears, or brought me the comfort i was seeking.
i don't always know whats best for me, but my savior does. because he truley does know me. better then i know myself. and this summer i'm trying my hardest to put my trust in him, so i can be shaped into the person he knows i can be.
if there were ever a time to ask for forgivness, it would be now. don't put it off. don't let it wait.
thats why i'm humbling myself today, and asking for forgivness.
to janna, for ever making  you feel like i love you least. i love you most. and i always want to around. i'm sorry for all the times i've made you feel unimportant. you are the one person other then my heavenly father who knows me the best. you always know what i need, and how i'm feeling. you give the best birthday presents ever because you take the time to find everyone something you know they will love. you are the best baby sister anyone could ever want.
to haley, for ever making you feel like i didn't care enough. i know i can sometimes get caught up in my own little world and i can make people feel like they don't matter. i'm sorry for ever making you feel like someone else was more worth my time. you are my best friend, and i couldn't ask for a better one. there is no excuse for how i make you feel sometimes.
to lindsey, for ever blaming you for things that weren't really your fault. i know that what happened happened for a reason, and that i had to learn something. i'm just glad that we've been able to move past it and become the friends we are now.
to bree, for ever hating you with no reason to. i'm sorry if i ever made you feel uncomfortable around me. i think i just needed someone to blame for things that i didn't want to blame myself for. i made a hasty decision without even getting to know you. i wish you the best of luck in your life, and i hope that one day i will be able to get to know you.
to my mommy, for ever making you feel like i don't appreciate everything you do for me.
to my daddy, for ever making you feel like i don't appreciate everything you do for me.
to amberly, for ever making you feel like my trials are more important than yours. i love you sis, and i can't think of anyone who is stronger than you, which is why i always turn to you in my time of need. but sometimes i let my trials over shadow yours.
to kendall, for causing you unneccessary grief. i know that i've made you feel stupid, or unappreciated, or like you don't matter to me, and i'm sorry. i never mean to hurt you. and i know that i do it to often. its something that i try to work on everyday. i hope you know that you are the best person i have ever met. without you i would go crazy. and i know that i sometimes make you feel like i don't care in the least, but let me tell you that i do. and i will fight like crazy to keep this friendship working.
to everyone else i may have offended in some way. whether it be great or small.
today my savior taught me something about myself. he taught  me that i hold grudges to easily, and i don't let go of the little things even if i say i have.
he taught me that i can be a hipocrite.
but i think that teaching me a flaw that i have can help me to become a better person.
i'm so grateful for everything in my life, even the trials. because they are what help me grow.
if there was ever a time to be happy, it would be now, so i'm going to let myself forget all the things that once weighed me down, and let my smile come back out.
Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities no doubt crept in- forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day: begin it well and serenely and with to high a spirit to be cumbered with your old nonsense.
Emerson